Friday, January 24, 2014

Machete Kills

I often talk about how I support films by people who aren't white men.  I like that I've been seeing more movies made by women lately.  I love that a couple of 2013's better movies were made by black filmmakers.  So, I was very excited for a movie made by a Mexican-American filmmaker about kick ass Mexicans.  After watching Machete and Machete Kills, I must say to the Mexican community, I'm so very sorry.  You deserve better.

Whereas films by minority filmmakers tend to try to dispel stereotypes (especially when the subject is their own group), director Robert Rodriguez has chosen to make a movie that reinforces every negative stereotype about Mexicans you can come up with.  If these movies had been made by the Texas rednecks who serve as the films' bad guys, you'd probably end up with a more enlightened portrayal of Mexico and immigrants than what actually ended up in theaters.

In Machete Kills (which is a far worse movie than the already abysmal Machete), Machete must stop a nuclear missile from being fired from Mexico into Washington D.C.  I'll stop there, because other than that sentence, the plot makes no sense.

Danny Trejo is awesome.  He should be given a heroic lead role.  He's got an iconic look and the man is a for real badass.  If you want to see just how awesome he is, go watch the documentary Champion.  He's incredible.  What he's doing here is not awesome.  He's the butt of a joke.

The whole movie is a joke and not in a good way.  Rodriguez claims that the Machete films are throwbacks to exploitation films.  If that's his intent, then he has failed.  Exploitation films may have had some wacky elements, but they were limited.  And that wackiness was endearing because the filmmakers were sincere.  Machete Kills is not sincere.  Exploitation films were limited in budget and distribution which forced them to exploit whatever elements they had available be it a car or a monster or a naked lady.  Machete Kills is not exploiting any elements to compensate for its production value.  The film revels in its awful production value. So is Rodriguez making fun of exploitation films? Maybe.  But if that's the case, then he's really bad at it.  If you need to see how to mock exploitation cinema, go watch Black Dynamite.  If Machete Kills is exploitation, then it is only exploiting Mexicans.

Run from this movie.  It's dreadful.  It is riddled with horrible computer effects that make the SyFy channel look like Avatar.  The only thing I liked about it was the casting of Chilean action star Marko Zaror.  That guy is incredible.  Go watch some of his films instead.  They're way better than the garbage you'll have to endure with Machete Kills.  When they promise a third installment before the movie starts, it just seems like a bad omen for the movie you're about to watch.  When they promise it again at the end too, it seems like a threat.

2 out of 10

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