World War Z

I don't know what I expected from this movie, but I definitely didn't expect to be bored.  How is that even possible?  This is a zombie movie!  Somehow, every sequence with zombies is the worst part of the movie.  Unfortunately around the halfway point of the film, every second has zombies.

I love zombies.  That doesn't mean much in this current climate of pop culture-zombie oversaturation.  Everyone loves zombies.  My point is that I'm not some kind of zombie-hater.  I also have no problem with fast zombies.  I prefer slow zombies but there's room for all kinds of undead corpses in the cinema world.  So let's break down what it was that did cause me to heavily dislike "World War Z."

 

1) Terrible CGI.  It is hugely distracting how fake the zombies look.  They look like rubber people.  Remember how bad the CGI was during the courtyard fight between Neo and Agent Smith in "The Matrix Reloaded?" (Click here for a refresher.) That at least has the excuse of being brand new technology.  A decade later, it looks even worse.  It doesn't help that the edits keep cutting from CG zombies to real zombies.  That just showcases how bad the CG zombies look.  Most of the other CG effects don't fare much better.  The helicopters, planes, cars, etc. are dreadful.  For a movie that cost $125 million, it looks incredibly shoddy.

 

2) Shaky cam.  Yep, I'm going to complain about this again.  Director Marc Forster used it heavily in "Quantum of Solace" and the result was a borderline incoherent James Bond movie.  Now he has turned that incoherence on the apocalypse.  It isn't too big a deal, because this is a PG-13 movie.  If you can't see what's going on, you can't get an R for violence.  Also, I just didn't care what was happening.  So why bother showing me it?

 

3) No stakes.  Sure, Brad Pitt has to find a cure in order to save mankind.  But why do I care about him?  Because he has a family?  His family is completely safe.  Because he's trying to save mankind?  He actually doesn't know what he's even looking for so there is no chase.  He's just a man wandering around getting the people around him killed. (Dozens or more people die as a direct result of his actions/stupidity.) Basically, we are supposed to care because it's Brad Pitt.  It's not enough.

 

4) Mireille Enos.  Not that she's bad.  It's that she's not in it enough.  I'm a fan of the AMC show "The Killing."  Enos is a great, naturalistic actress.  We get hints early on at how well she and Pitt play off of each other.  I wanted more.  Instead, she is abandoned so we can watch digital zombies that move like Raggedy Ann.  This movie would've been so much better as a story about a family trying to survive the zombie apocalypse.  Not only would we have an emotional core to make the audience care, but we would've had more of Mireille Enos.  Maybe we'll see her more in the sequel. (Oh God!  They're making a sequel!!!!)

 

5) Luck.  Everything that happens to Brad Pitt is sheer luck.  Someone or something always happens at the last second to prevent his death/injury.  When he survives a horrific plane crash, it's as if the writers realized that he's a little too lucky.  So, he regains consciousness to find a rather large piece of shrapnel lodged in his guts.  It is removed immediately afterward and he returns to his mission as if nothing happened.  He should be battling a massive infection.  Instead, he's back to being the best at everything on Earth.

 

6) Brad Pitt is the best at everything on Earth.  What is/was his job exactly?  It seems from the dialogue that he worked for the U.N. helping build houses and wells for impoverished people in third world countries. (According to Wikipedia, Pitt is a U.N. investigator.) Judging by his actions, he's some sort of retired super soldier who can engage in diplomacy as well as he can perform battlefield surgery, experiment with pathogens, and make pancakes.  It's ridiculous. 

 

7) The mission.  The U.N. sends Brad Pitt to escort a brilliant scientist on a mission to find Patient Zero.  The logic is that any virus can be cured or vaccinated against if only the original carrier is found.  They literally say this.  As if HIV and Ebola could've been negated with a blood sample from the first person to catch it.  As to why Pitt would not only be sent as an escort (a dozen Special Forces guys are going too) but why the U.N. sought him out so doggedly (aren't there other people nearby who can engage in diplomacy?), we may never know.  The head U.N. guy says that it's because Pitt has been to "countries like this before."  But sending a man with no expertise in virology to a country he's never been to seems like a bad idea.  It seems like he'd just be a burden who could potentially make mistakes that cause the deaths of several people.  Which is what happens.  Also, the scientist dies within minutes of landing in South Korea (from an accidental, self-inflicted gunshot to the head).  Pitt then takes on the task himself.  But if the intent was to have Pitt do this all in the first place, why introduce the scientist at all?  Why make up the convoluted plot of sending a U.N. investigator to escort a scientist?  Just write a script wherein Brad Pitt plays a scientist!  The biggest slap in the face is that Patient Zero is never found.  The key to a vaccine is discovered through simple observation that could've been done back in New York and avoided all the human deaths that Pitt's character caused throughout the film.  It's like the ending of "The Hangover" except that "World War Z" isn't fun.

 

Just don't waste your time with this movie.  It's stupid and boring.  Go grab a copy of Max Brooks' original novel.  The book and movie have nothing in common except the title.  Maybe seek out some other zombie movie instead if you need your undead fix.  But just don't put yourself through this.

 

4 out of 10