Star Trek Into Darkness

I'm going to make a lot of complaints about this movie, so  I'm going to let you know early that I ultimately enjoyed "Star Trek Into Darkness."  Now that that's out of the way, let's get into some of the issues this movie has.

 

1) The lens flares are getting to be a bit much.  I firmly believe that J. J. Abrams is exponentially increasing the amount of lens flares with each film as a way of giving the finger to all the people who complain about them.  So, I just want to extend the olive branch to Abrams in hopes that maybe he'll tone it down a bit: Mr. Abrams, I don't mind and even kinda like your lens flares but in moderation.  You're rapidly approaching a point in your career where your movies will be indistinguishable from footage of a strobe light.  I'm concerned that Star Wars 7 may give me a seizure. 

 

2) The whole movie should be about Bones and Scotty, because every other character is terrible.  Kirk has learned nothing from the events of the last film nor does he learn from the events of this film.  He's a cocky asshole who's arrogance directly results in calamity.  Star Fleet needs to stop demoting him and have him summarily executed.  It's for the good of the Federation and Earth.  Spock is whiny and inconsistent.  He is wholly unlikable.  Kirk's cocksure swagger could be considered charming to some, but Spock is just a shithead.  Spock and Kirk are only friends in these films because they were on the show.  Every other character is either an irrelevant nod to the show or a flat, bland waste of screen time.  The next movie should just be Scotty and Bones hanging out and every once in a while Kirk runs by (because everyone runs everywhere)on his way to cause a disaster that gets him demoted and then later runs by again on his way to cause a bigger disaster that gets him reinstated.

 

3) Khan.  "Star Trek Into Darkness" is a remake of "The Wrath of Khan."  But not a full remake.  It's just meaningless fan service.  Benedict Cumberbatch plays a villain who goes by the name "John Harrison" but upon being captured reveals (with the camera slowly pushing in and dramatic music rising) that he is actually... KHAN! (duh-duh-DAAAH!! The music actually does that too.)  It comes out of nowhere and means nothing.  It's actually incredibly out of place and confusing.  It's played out as if it means something important but it only means that in 1982 another Star Trek movie had a villain named "Khan."  If the villain of this movie had remained "John Harrison," it would've changed nothing.

 

4) Too many Star Trek references.  The first movie had plenty of references that felt organic and fun and (most importantly) remained in the background.  For "Star Trek Into Darkness," it was as if the writers had a huge list of Star Trek references that didn't make the first movie but were concerned that there would never be another "Star Trek" movie.  So, they better shove them all into this one!  It's relentless and distracting.  "The Expendables 2" spent a huge amount of time winking at the camera and referencing its actors' careers, but "The Expendables 2" is trying to be a semi-comedic callback to 80s action.  "Star Trek Into Darkness" is trying to be a serious action/sci-fi film. 

 

5) The plot makes no sense.  Now you may watch this movie and say, "Doug, I understood the plot."  But trust me, you didn't.  Here's a fun exercise.  Explain the plot in detail.  And I mean scene by scene detail.  You will quickly realize that much of what happens is impossible or lacking motivation.  I spent a good portion of this movie asking "why?" and "how?"  Luckily, Abrams is able to craft a fairly fun action around this overly complex and baffling plot.

After all that, how can I claim to have liked this movie? (Trust me.  I could spend way more time dissecting this movie.) I can't fully explain why I like this movie.  Abrams is an excellent filmmaker who can make even incomprehensible dreck exciting.  The action scenes are inventive, coherent, and expertly executed.  The TV show was fueled by ideas; the movie is fueled by things going "boom."  And this movie does that about as well as a popcorn summer blockbuster can hope to do.  Plus, it has Karl Urban and Simon Pegg killing it as Bones and Scotty.

 

I've complained all summer about terrible screenplays being disguised by incredible filmmaking.  But for some unknown reason, I'm giving "Star Trek" a pass.  Maybe it's because "Star Trek Into Darkness" is simply nonsensical and that's easily to swallow than thematic issues or idiocy or mean-spiritedness. 

If you have surround sound, check this movie out and crank it up.  Make some popcorn, sit back, and let the concussive waves of sound and pretty pictures distract you.  If you let the plot problems get to you, you may not like it.  Luckily, it's a fairly forgettable movie.  Try to enjoy it while it lasts.

6 out of 10