Pain & Gain

If you're reading this just to find out if "Pain & Gain" is a good movie, then maybe just skip to the end.  Because I'm going to make a digression into the film's director, Michael Bay, and my feelings about his filmography.  So again, if you're not interested, just skip to the end.  Still with me?  Cool.  Let's talk about Michael Bay.

Michael Bay is an extremely polarizing filmmaker.  His movies tend to make money, yet those very films also tend to be critically panned.  How can movies so bad be so successful?  I don't really know.

But I don't dismiss Michael Bay.  In fact, I feel that he is a true auteur.  The man has a distinct visual style and filmography.  Any scene from any of his films is easily identifiable as a Michael Bay movie.  But is his hyper-stylized filmmaking what keeps people watching his movies?  A little bit.  I think folks seem to like his "chaos cinema" aesthetic but it's also one of the biggest criticisms lobbied against him.

Where I stand is that the man is capable of greatness, but he rarely achieves it.  Bay is responsible for two of my favorite action films: "The Rock" and "Bad Boys 2."  But absolutely not "Bad Boys."  That movie is largely forgettable, although not terrible.  Bay is also responsible for some of the worst things I've had to sit through: "Armageddon," "Pearl Harbor," and "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen."  The rest of his films are mediocre (although the first "Transformers" is better than most of his stuff).

Michael Bay's success seems to have stemmed from his penchant for explosions, babes, over-the-top patriotism, and juvenile humor.  He caters to the worst of American stereotypes.  The worrisome thing is that he may have it right.  "Bad Boys 2" is by far his most "Michael Bay" movie, and I love the shit out of it.  It's a movie that wallows in explosions, babes, and juvenile humor.  And just when you think the movie's over and that we'll just have to forgo some dick-swinging, in-your-face patriotism.  But Michael Bay wouldn't do that.  So, he has his main characters invade and destroy Cuba culminating in a Mexican standoff in a mine field outside the base at Guantanamo Bay.  It's pretty awesome!

Michael Bay is an interesting filmmaker.  Regardless of the quality, I find that I must watch his new films if only to dissect the bizarre thought processes that went into his directorial decisions.  And that is what kept me going through his newest film: "Pain & Gain."

"Pain & Gain" is going to fall in with his mediocre output.  But it's almost as if he was trying to subvert his own image and in doing so, reinforced it.  I'll explain as we go.

"Pain & Gain" is based on a true story about a few Florida bodybuilders who decide to kidnap and torture a man in order to force him to sign over his assets.  Nothing goes according to plan.

The audience is constantly reminded that this is a true story.  The crazier the events get, the more the film insists on its factual basis.  To be fair, the bulk of the events did happen (although less movie-fied), but the declarations of "true story" are not meant to affirm the film's journalistic integrity.  It's all there as a way to poke fun at the people involved.  When the film says "this is a true story," it's really saying "these idiots really did these stupid things."  But the idiots aren't just the criminals, they're the victims too.  So to justify making fun of the victims and the crimes against them, Michael Bay (and his screenwriters) paint them as stupid, mean, and "asking for it."  "Asking for it" meaning being robbed, tortured, and murdered.  It's fairly appalling and my biggest issue with the movie. (Check out the original articles that the movie is based on: here, here, and here.  They're far more interesting too.)

But maybe I'm biased having read the actual true story prior to seeing the movie.  Maybe I would've been less sensitive to the way the events are handled.  Maybe I would've been able to laugh when the bodybuilders run over a man's head with their van and snicker when that man isn't killed (as intended) but horribly disfigured.  Because that's what I was supposed to do.  That stuff is presented as comedy.  I think Bay (and again, his screenwriters) wanted to make a dark comedy and failed.  Because none of them understand comedy.  Bay only understands juvenile humor.  Farts and bodily functions are his métier.  Dark comedies require subtlety and nuance: two words that will never describe a Michael Bay film.

So how did he subvert his image yet reinforce it?  By trying to make something different and showing that he can't.  He just doesn't have it in him to make an intelligent film or even a film with humanity.  I had hoped that he was going to go all out (like "Bad Boys 2") and make something like an R-rated cartoon.  Instead, he tried to scale it down and ended up making a movie that is offensively disrespectful of the "true story" it purports to tell.

He dials back the babes a bit (although Bar Paly is enough for any movie).  But he takes his patriotism and plasters it everywhere.  This is ostensibly a film about the fallacy that is the American Dream, but made by people that do not understand what the words "American Dream" mean.

If you're one of those people that opted to skip to the end, this is your jumping on point.  At the end of the day, "Pain & Gain" is a very well made film.  It looks great (Bay's movies always look great) but it suffers from a lack of likable characters and uncertainty in theme.  It's a film that tries to have its cake and eat it too.  Either the criminals are dumb, loveable heroes or horrible villains.  Just pick one, Michael Bay! 

Mark Wahlberg is good but not great.  Anthony Mackie is forgettable.  The Rock is fun but one dimensional.  Tony Shaloub is fantastically hate-able.  Ed Harris is wasted on this movie.

I can't fully recommend "Pain & Gain," but I also can't tell you to avoid it.  It's a stupid and mean-spirited movie.  It's also fairly action packed and flashy.  Someone out there will like it and it might be you.  But there's only one way to find out.

6 out of 10