"Mega Python vs. Gatoroid" (herein to be called "MPvG") is about a eco-warrior played by Debbie Gibson who steals a bunch of normal pythons and releases them into the Everglades. Would an environmentalist actually release a non-native animal into a sensitive habitat? Nope. But how else is this movie going to happen? Anyway, the snakes start killing all the alligators and growing to ridiculous sizes. So a Park Ranger played by Tiffany (that's right Debbie Gibson and Tiffany in the same movie!) issues hunting licenses to a pack of rednecks to kill the snakes and protect the gator population. The snakes kill all the rednecks and the Ranger's fiance. What's a woman to do? How about feed the gators experimental steroids so they can fight the snakes? Needless to say the snakes and gators soon reach Godzilla-esque size on the eve of the Everglades fund-raiser. Pandemonium ensues, people die, and thousands of eggs are discovered (these reptiles are busy). Can these giant menaces be destroyed before they reach Miami? Rent it and find out!
"MPvG" is awesomely bad. The effects are terrible. The acting is terrible. The Micky Dolenz cameo (seriously!) is terrible. But it all results in a fun film. I laughed pretty hard most of the time. The rest of the time was spent trying to comprehend the idiotic plot and dialogue. My favorite line? Tiffany is giving a speech at the fund-raiser and ends it like this: "When I look out and see this beautiful, lush area, I think of my late fiance, Justin Regina. And now ladies and gentlemen, keep drinking!" That's awful. Just awful. Fortunately, this is followed by an incredible Gibson/Tiffany catfight. (You still haven't rented this yet?!)
I love this kind of garbage cinema. It makes me smile. I can only hope it can do the same for you.
Rating: 3 out of 10 (but 12 out of 10 on the fun scale)
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