Baggage Claim

Baggage Claim is the worst kind of romantic comedy.  It not only lacks any decent comedy, it also makes women look awful.  If this movie had been more widely seen, it would've set feminism back at least 10 years.

The premise of the movie is this: a woman named Montana (I'm not kidding) whose younger sister is getting married.  She already is unable to be alone, but her sister's engagement and pressure from her mother (who has been married five times) has her determined to be able to announce her own engagement by the time of her sister's wedding in 30 days.  She and her friends feel that she doesn't have time to start a new relationship and secure an engagement in one month, so they decide to try to rekindle relationships with Montana's exes.  Being  that she and her friends are flight attendants, they begin monitoring her exes travel plans and put Montana on the flights they are using.  All of her exes turn out to be single, handsome, wealthy, and eager to marry her.  So, which one will she choose?

I don't know where to begin with this movie.  Is TransAlliance the only airline in the United States?  This movie makes it seem so.  The whole plot is one of convenience.  Only one airline so that she has access to her exes.  It's "the holidays" and they tell us that everyone travels around "the holidays."  And sure enough, every currently single ex Montana has takes a flight in the month before her sister's wedding.  I did love the brief moment when Montana's friend, Gail (who is depicted as a wacky slut but is actually the most empowered woman in the movie), realizes that their scheme is a violation of federal law but promptly dismisses the thought because... love, I guess.

The movie keeps demanding that you accept that Montana is a strong, self-sufficient woman, but her constant need to be defined by a man says otherwise.  Even in the end when (SPOILERS FOR THE TERRIBLE MOVIE THAT IS BAGGAGE CLAIM!!!) Montana turns down the proposal from the one ex who seems to be perfect in favor of being her own woman, she immediately finishes her "empowered" woman speech and rushes off to find her next door neighbor who promptly proposes and she accepts.  Every woman in this film is dependent on their relationships with a man.  No woman in Baggage Claim can be without male companionship.

Another problem that kills any rom-com is a lack of chemistry.  None of the male suitors have even the tiniest spark with lead actress Paula Patton.  Because of this, they all feel interchangeable.  Who cares who she marries?  I sure didn't.

I liked Patton in Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, but she is terrible in this movie.  She is constantly grinning like a maniac regardless of the tone of the scene.  It's off-putting.  Also, her smokey voice is a little too smokey in this film.  I think she was suffering from bronchitis throughout the production.

Baggage Claim is terrible.  I can't recommend it on any level.  I almost always recommend a movie with Djimon Hounsou, but not this time.  Derek Luke does seem capable of being a charming leading man and I liked seeing Tia Mowry in a movie and... I don't know.  I'm really struggling to find something nice to say.  Just go watch something else. 

2.5 out of 10